The Importance of Mentoring Children in God’s Way

The first Bible verse I memorized was Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Focusing the energy of youth in the right direction is necessary and a long-term process.

Our example as parents can have a huge positive impact and influence on our children. There is a long list of troubling behavior in youth when they don’t have positive adult role models—from attention deficit, behavioral disorders, early involvement in alcohol, drugs and tobacco, lower educational achievement, involvement in crime and more (World Health Organization: “Youth Violence”: June 8, 2020).

How should we teach our children? Too many parents in the culture around us neglect their children, instead allowing the schools to teach them their values, or letting their peer group or the media they consume be the primary influence in their life. God gave parents the responsibility to properly raise their children and teach them godly values (Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs 1:8). We can view this as mentoring. All of us mentor whether we realize it or not. Our example will drown out whatever else we might have to say.

Mentoring is about creating an environment of interaction, or personal development, and sharing wisdom for the benefit of the mentee. A mentor is interested in the personal and professional growth of someone else. We have examples of this type of mentoring in Scripture: Moses and Joshua, Naomi and Ruth, Elijah and Elisha. Christ mentored the disciples. Paul mentored Timothy and Titus.

What are some guidelines for effectively mentoring our youth?

• Build trust. Trust is built day-by-day. Promises must be kept, there can be no belittling, information is readily shared and there is no hypocrisy.

• Offer time. Invest time in your child(ren) and be available to them in order to have conversations, offer insight and to answer their questions (Proverbs 1:4).

• Be transparent. Admit the mistakes you make and accept consequences for your actions. This models proper behavior for your child.

• Give encouragement. Give positive feedback. For every negative point or correction, find three positive attributes or actions. People rise to expectations. Hold high standards and look for the best. Everyone needs encouragement, because encouragement is a pure form of positive feedback. We are calmed, strengthened and edified when we are encouraged.

• Be consistent. Children thrive in a consistent and predictable environment.

• Add significance. Reward behavior that leads to successful outcomes. Personalize the outcomes. Determine what they need. “Failure” is part of the learning process. When your child comes up short, use that as a teaching moment and give them an opportunity to try again.

• Praise publicly and correct privately. No one thrives in an environment where they don’t know what to expect. Be committed to their training. Believe in them—this motivates them and releases their potential.

• Be a support. Offer emotional support, skills training and the right equipment to do the task.

• Give responsibility before giving authority. Until they master a responsibility they are under your authority. We direct them, and we take responsibility if things come up short. This engenders trust and respect from the child that you will not “throw them under the bus” if they don’t do a perfect job. Once they learn to take care of the responsibility properly, then give them the authority to be “the man” or “the woman”!